David's Tumblr

Guess I'm doing something right...

Emma: Daddy, what's a deep friend twinkie?
Me: It's a twinkie that's been covered in batter and fried in oil.
Emma: Daddy, what's a twinkie?

Those Ponies Are Pretty Sneaky

Emma: What are you doing with Pinkie Pie in your room?

Connor: I don't know, I guess she just busted in here to play with me.

Emma’s First Poem

Ants on the ground,
It’s a sunny day.
Ants on the ground,
It’s the first day of May.

They laugh and sing and have some fun.
They dance in the bright sun.
I step on one because it’s on the floor.
I found more ants but they ran out the door.

Tantrums

Emma: I must be adopted. There is no way THAT woman gave birth to me.

My Little Skeptic

Connor: Emma, Selena Gomez isn't real.
Emma: Yes, Connor, she is.
Connor: Then where is she?

She Is a Little Bossy

Emma: I. AM. NOT. BOSSY!...I just have a better idea.

Skills

I was swordfighting with the kids earlier. Connor had a sword, Emma had a sword, and I had a 5’ polearm-like thing. I used the polearm to keep the kids away from me, which of course made them crazy. We took a break and when we started again, I grabbed two swords. Emma was proud of herself for grabbing the polearm and said “Hah, Daddy - now I have the polearm” and started swinging it around. I blocked it with one sword, “stabbed” her with the other one, and said “Hah! You don’t have my skills!” She looked crestfallen and said, “Daddy, will you teach me your skills sometime?”

Being a dad rocks, but I’m thinking her therapy bills when she’s an adult are going to be HUGE.

But I Don't Look Like a Harry...

Me: Ouch! Stop pulling my chest hair.
Emma: Ba-ba should have named Daddy "Harry" instead of "David."
Me: ...

Steam Engines

Emma: Mommy, the next time you're in Wal-Mart you should look for some of those old-time Barbies like the ones you had growing up.

Me: Yeah, babe - the Barbies with steam engines.

We Get No Respect

Emma: My brother is such a barbarian!

Tia: So's your dad.

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