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Parenting
If you find yourself saying “This is the last time I’m going to tell you…” more than three times in five minutes, it’s time to pack the kids up and drop them off with Child Services.
My Little Skeptic
Connor: Emma, Selena Gomez isn't real.
Emma: Yes, Connor, she is.
Connor: Then where is she?
Pretend Friends Aren't As Reliable As They Used To Be
Connor: Daddy, will you play with me? My pretend friends are at someone else's house.
Thanks For Pointing That Out
Connor: Did you get a haircut today?
Me: Yes.
Connor: THEN WHY DO YOU STILL HAVE A BALD SPOT?!
Me: ...
Skills
I was swordfighting with the kids earlier. Connor had a sword, Emma had a sword, and I had a 5’ polearm-like thing. I used the polearm to keep the kids away from me, which of course made them crazy. We took a break and when we started again, I grabbed two swords. Emma was proud of herself for grabbing the polearm and said “Hah, Daddy - now I have the polearm” and started swinging it around. I blocked it with one sword, “stabbed” her with the other one, and said “Hah! You don’t have my skills!” She looked crestfallen and said, “Daddy, will you teach me your skills sometime?”
Being a dad rocks, but I’m thinking her therapy bills when she’s an adult are going to be HUGE.
